How will you relate to women?

(Post 4 of 8)

If women confuse you, you are not alone. 

As someone who is not a woman, I misunderstand all the time. Why? There is a gap between their experience of life and our experience of life. Yet we long for them, and we need them. For many of us, they are over there, and we are still over here, even if it is our wife. 

If we are not careful, the challenges of life will return us to the middle school dance phase, where we are on one side of the room, and they are on the other side of the room, metaphorically speaking.  

How will you navigate the gap? 

Will you love women, or will you use them? 

Will your fears rule over you in the way you relate to them? Will you put them on the other side of the negotiation table, getting as much as you can while giving as little as possible?  

What do you think of marriage? Is it just a lousy trap? Have you considered marriage as a form of social justice protecting the woman in terms of vulnerabilities regarding child-rearing, etc.? Do you see marriage as a way to make you more 'happy'? Or is marriage a way to make you more loving as you are formed by your commitments to love through sickness and health, for richer or poorer? Does commitment make you a better man, or does it expose you regarding your need for help? 

Do women threaten you?  Can you both enjoy the unique things they bring into your life without angling for sex at the end of it all?  Can you celebrate a woman’s success, unique talents and even give your energies to see them rise higher than you?  A secure man can is not threatened or feel competition from the women in his life. He enjoys them. 

 Loving a woman involves crossing that gap and embracing the vulnerabilities that come with it. Will you wait for the woman to bear the vulnerability and walk to you, giving you the best deal possible? Or could it be that learning to 'love another person as they are' becomes the most significant expression of your personal security, strength, and wisdom?

When it comes to women, will you hide in fear or step forward and cross the room in courage and vulnerability?